When you walk in, on the left is a window and a desk, straight forward is a gigantic, wide window and to the right is my bed, wardrobe and heater. Very well written i liked the word choices and how you alborated on it, there was nothing that I could find that needed work i would give you a 4+, Very good way of describing room. NSL: There were some comma's needed that were not there, and some starts of sentences that were not capitals. The colours in my room are all colours I love and are comfortable in and around. Then the colour of the furniture from a blue to a lighter colour. As you walk into my room you may notice the bright colours. Very descriptive though - well done! Your writing was amazing and I didn't find any spelling mistakes. Although I dont really like the blue on my walls and the colour of my floor so itd be good if that could have a change. My room is perfect for me, its set out how I like it and to me its the best in the house. My wardrobe the mirror is all dusty with had prints all over it and inside it has rubbish, all my rugby gear, ski gear and more clothes. People who love the outdoors might feel most at ease and happy when theyre outside in the forest. The story behind this is that ogres are usually thought of as being dirty, smelly, and unkept. At first I was a little surprised of the state of my bedroom, my wall decorations all still hanging up all except for one little photo. One of my relaxed comfortable places. So firstly senses smell, sight and feel so when you walk into my bedroom Im not going to lie It smells kinda bad but that's what my parents say It's not bad for me I don't smell anything. As you enter my bedroom the first thing you see is the large divider that sits in the middle of my room separating my sister and I. The double bed is messey and not the new. You have described it so accurately. The punctuation is almost flawless, as far as I can see. In my room and on my bedside table there are books like The Hunger Games, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and a Top Gear magazine the Harry Potter book is yellowy orange with wooden woven ball with a child inside on the front cover, the Top Gear magazine has a red Aston Martin DB 12 with a caption saying Cruise Missile, on my desk there is a yellow Ferrari model which I got when I was born. Above the irritatingly tall line of trees, the tip of Mt Hutt is just visible, its snowy peak nudging the sky. All Rights Reserved. "one of them is a full size katana", Great story, the vocabulary was good and very descriptive. Relevance. Sen. Lindsey Graham cruises to reelection in S.C. Hickenlooper beats Gardner for Colo. Senate seat, 'Hamilton' star changes lyrics of song for voters, Trump signals he won't try to declare victory prematurely, Ex-NBA star Eddie Johnson dies at 65 in prison, Expert: A Biden win could lead to mask mandate, testing, Clothing items that may get you turned away from the polls, Jerry Jones: DiNucci's 1st NFL start was 'a lot for him', How Georgias blue drift changes politics nationwide, Battle intensifies over which votes will count. E.g pain main, Logan you had lots of spelling mistakes like you said flour instead of floor and 'i's not 'I' \. Sences in my bedroom are a fresh air smell, because the window is usually open in my room. Overall I think Bridget has done a good job of writing a piece of descriptive text. However your vocabulary could still improve to help the readers to have a clearer picture of what your bedroom looks like. Brothers Of A Feather Driving Wheel Lyrics, It can survive an entire month of cleanliness before succumbing to the fall of clothes and chocolate wrappers. It's a great description but like Alex said, you could give it more ideas and elaborate more on the topic to make it a better description. Wispy, rancid, airy, musty, stale, fresh, putrid, faint, light, floral, and acrid are all adjectives that could pertain to smell. So now you know about my room, I hope you can visualize it and my topics were the furniture, accessories, colors and the layout. squishy, soft, lumps and bumps. You need to work on editing on your opening sentence. Maybe next time don't use 'my' too much. Required fields are marked *. My bedroom is down the hallway on the right next to the big purple bathroom. Well done though :-). It is placed next to my bed and upon it is a long, skinny lamp with pink polka dots on it. eg Self fun. Some of its correct. I have many wall decorations in my room ranging from many colours such as black, red, white, green, blue, pink and yellow. My room isnt colourful. I wonder what you would change about it if you had the chance too? Straight ahead there are windows facing east. The wall opposite the door has three picture that me and my sisters had painted quite a while ago. Hats and sports bags under the beds in the dark. Well structured paragraphs and a few funny jokes too. I enjoyed reading your writing illustrates without hesitation what your room feels and looks like. There is a famous song with the line Home is wherever Im with you. I am confused about what self fun is though. Honestly, its like DCs villain Two-Face; the fact on whether its tidy or messy is based of luck, like the flip of a coin. If were tired, then R.I.P floor, your burial is in progress. I have been in your room but I think you have to clean your room before a gest gets there a ha ha 4. There a couple of small spelling mistakes, but other than that, it is well done. Every room has accessories, even if it isnt a bedroom. The colors of my room are dark and a little bit of white. But Im lucky enough to have an en suite attached to my room! My carpet is a kinda light blue with dark blue lines through it and I also have my rug which has a black background and white zig zag lines on it. My most special object in my room is my tiger picture above my bed. It has a very spacious drawer that pulls out from underneath. I love my bed to bits (literally my cats rip it to pieces) I like the fact that all your ideas were relevant and made sense to the topic. and there is no conclusion or ending paragraph. On the board there is flowers carved on them. The spelling was very good I struggled to find any mistakes. My wardrobe is a double sliding door with a grey color. Sunlight peeks through the sliding door and window, making my room cosy. On the left hand side is a bunk bed which has Jacksons (my little brother) bed at the bottom and my bed at the top with really messy covers. Closest to the door, there is a bookshelf, bursting with divine specimens begging to be devoured. The layout of my bedroom is the thing I most like about my room. I agree that it needs to be cleaner! When did organ music become associated with baseball? Great writing. Light, open, spacious and its mine. Write a detailed description of your bedroom as you left it this morning. I like my room because of the rugged and unique feel it gives off and all the furniture and accessories. Your lucky that it's big haha 4. You could add more information on what each paragraph was. Penultimate par5agraph the full stop at the end goes inside of the brackets. A metaphor is a word or phrase that is used to make a comparison between two things. Now I am going to move on to my senses. How my bedroom looks? Time for the most exciting part of it, the bed. The laws don't apply to my imagination except for the time to clean your room law. There is a mirror hanging on my off white walls above a small table. The place I can get away from my sister and other hassles, a place where I have some good things, my bedroom. You walk into my room and pop! The first thing about the layout in my room you notice is the large curtains covering the windows at the back and at the left of my room. 4+, Nice work describing your room. These windows also include a door, that leads out into one of three gardens at my house. Last updated: April 25 2022. In my room I have lots of draws and places to put stuff but hardly use any of because most stuff is on the floor. As I creep through the messiness there begins a pile of lego pieces on the grey dull carpet waiting for someone to stand on it and be be pricked. MY BEDROOM I could imagine looking at the things you described. Some people might call this theme a colourful mess, but I think otherwise. you could add more expression in your writing next time. When I look walk inside my bedroom and look out the window I see the big pine trees blowing swiftly in the wind and the bed just waiting to be made since yesterday. Right next to my bed is a little brown, wooden bedside table where I keep my phone, clock and other items. I like my room because it's got enough space for all my stuff like my table for doing homework and my spare bed for if I have any friends come over. You used the write amount of good words in the right places. My most favorite piece of furniture in my room is most definitely my bed because its where I spend most of my time and when you spend time with something like that for that long you're sure to end up getting attached to it, but anyway my bed is my favorite thing in my room because its warm when I want warm and cool when I want cool and plus its majorly comfy. I roll around on it and it feels great. On my right hand side wall as you walk in there are my bright football posters, my flag poster and my Crusaders flag. The ceilings are high and have a wooden trim around the perimeter of the room. it has a good layout and the furniture is nice. Inside that drawer is where I hold more of my goods and books. It also has another mattress underneath that has wheels on it. Somehow it is always warm with the right temperature. Now let me take you on a virtual journey of my own bedroom. On my desk is my blue lamp, my pink polaroid camera and my mini drawers. When you walk in my room you will see a white door and when you walk in the main area all the walls are white with dark furniture. Just above my table are shelves were put things like books and trophies. Jackson's dresser is really new and its still in good condition. Good work a nice peace of writing. A metaphor is a figure of speech that describes an object or action in a way that Their curtains black out light, their chairs all face the television, theres surround sound speakers, and of course theres an enormous flat screen TV on the wall! R5. I stroll into my room and the bright colours instantly pop out. My pillows and duvet are very colourful but you can hardly ever see what they look like because I almost never make my bed so unless someone else does all the duvets and pillows have been thrown on the floor or are inside out. Then let's go on this virtual tour of my bedroom. Every room needs furniture to make it yours and in my room the most important piece of furniture is my bed. I would say that the smell of my bedroom is like a warm summers day and it looks like a warm summers day too. Near those drawers is my wardrobe and on top of that wardrobe is a lot of mess. My walls are a light gray with light gray carpet but also my sheets on my bed are gray as well. as your room! These are placed where there is one up and one down all along the top of the wall. Writers usually describe the setting at the very start of a story. This grants me access outside whenever I need it, especially if it's for a little alone time. Mollys Bedroom My bedroom is in the middle of two other bedrooms. My duvet is new as I got it when we moved house. David Silverman Simpsons Net Worth, I have a lot of space. Well done!!! The most famous poetic metaphor for love, which we find in Shakespeare, also involves heat. But I like it because I can change the room around to the way I like it. great work i love that you did good punctuation and it was a good story. It has a stuffed toy pit on the other side of the room as you walk in and it has a shelf above it with more toys, piggy banks, my xbox that doesn't work, my books and other stuff. Christina Moses Weight Loss, I love my bedroom and I wish you guys could see it person so you can see how and why I love my bedroom. I wouldn't change anything about it even if I had the choice. I like my room the way it is because I love the view and how it is laid out. Its plywood walls and lumpy concrete floor give it a rugged and unique feel. 10 similes to describe a place. My room could be a bit neater though! Beside my bed is a little white bedside table housing a wide variety of items mainly things I couldnt be bothered to put away. Third, the accessories, a lot of the accessories are gaming related like Pokemon and Call of Duty and theres my lighting module. My room has two windows, one facing south, the other west. when you said mental trip you were bang on. Overall I love my room to pieces because it belongs to me. Your writing paints a picture in the readers mind and leaves them feeling like they actually just physically walked around it! I like how I am able to visualize your bedroom. Also two comfy blue headphones and it's sound is great as well I have had this for a few months now. there is a tree outside my bedroom window. I need to make sure the cloths are not on my desk they need to be in my dresser or in my closet. My bedroom is located at the back of my house halfway down the hall. 10 metaphors to describe a place. as you described your room with a theme 'NBA' yes there are some elements of that but if you ask me, its not in plain sight! You've really set the scene, invited us in and shown us how cosy it is in there. My half of the bedroom is on the east side of the house, meaning that Im directly in front of one of our three gardens. My floor isnt actually that colorful but because there are heaps of clothes everywhere you cant tell how boring colour is. Two clocks that are big and annoying, a computer that is big and fun and lamp that is bright, speakers that are loud and white curtains white and a mirror that is big. But i think I saw some spelling mistakes. Usually before I go to bed there is a glass of water and the book Im reading. The sun shines in my room which makes my room warm up. Jakes Bedroom Keep up the good work. You might say this if you felt like you learned a lot during your summer break from school. Once you eyes have shifted again you will see my big, pure white chest of draws in the right hand corner of the room pressed firmly against both the right hand wall and the wall with the window in front of you. They need to be in my room are dark and a little of... 'S needed that were not there, and some starts of sentences were! And all the furniture from a blue to a lighter colour tiger picture above table... The story behind this is that ogres are usually thought of as being dirty, smelly, and unkept thing. Of small spelling mistakes furniture from a blue to a lighter colour next time do n't use 'my ' much. New and its still in good condition word or phrase that is to. 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