In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. Approach through a doctor or an institution is a better bet. Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks-no more! You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track. He too, has become a respected and useful member of his community. Best Answer. Let him decide for himself. I loaded my Big Book onto my tablet and did a word search for worked / working and I found several uses of the word in the first 164 Foreword to the Second Edition teasers page and are you smarter than a fifth-grader questions. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience. At one end of the room stood a glass covered directory of local churches. RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came. It is the proper use of the will. The alarming physical and mental symptoms, the deepening pall of remorse, depression and inferiority that settled down on our loved ones-these things terrified and distracted us. After the sermon, he quietly got up and made an explanation. Here is a modern version of the fourth chapter, originally called We Agnostics. Your understanding treatment of their cases will pay dividends. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk! That is, if he is lucky enough to have a home. We think this person is in danger. The use of spiritual principles in such cases was not so well understood as it is now. Friends who have reasoned with him after a spree which has brought him to the point of divorce or bankruptcy are mystified when he walks directly into a saloon. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasnt there. It is our hope that these pages can be a source of inspiration to you. I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way. Come, whats this all about? I queried. He got in touch with a prominent psychiatrist who had undertaken certain responsibilities for the mental health of the community. Had they fired me first, and had they then taken steps to see that I was presented with the solution contained in this book, I might have returned to them six months later, a well man. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. The Big Book is a Text Book The first 164 pages of the Big Book are the basic text. An armored car could not have brought the pay envelopes home. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected. Live and let live is the rule. But why not? We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break. If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too. Drinking occasionally, and understanding your own reactions, it is possible for you to become quite sure of many things which, so far as the alcoholic is concerned, are not always so. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. Be quick to see where religious people are right. They run to extremes. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Whatever the method, its object is to thoroughly clear mind and body of the effects of alcohol. He said to the doctor, Is there no exception?, Yes, replied the doctor, there is. Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. We doubt if, in this respect, alcoholics are fundamentally much worse than other people. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. Either you are dealing with a man who can and will get well or you are not. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. There is every evidence that women regain their health as readily as men if they try our suggestions. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight. I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory. Are the stones properly in place? Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully slow. You will be making it possible for him to be insincere. Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions. Dont let him get away with it. Treat him, when you can, as though he had pneumonia. I was shocked, but interested. How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. He now returned home, leaving behind his first acquaintance, the lawyer and the devil-may-care chap. Attempt instead, to put yourself in his place. Inerrant means without error, and it is a concept religious scholars have tried to apply to the Christian bible, without success. Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Barriers which have sprung up between you and your friends will disappear with the growth of sympathetic understanding. Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say. Young Picture Books aim for the 2 to 5-year-old. Pg. We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. The man must decide for himself. Friendly hands had stretched out in welcome. When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. If he says yes, does he really mean it, or down inside does he think he is fooling you, and that after rest and treatment he will be able to get away with a few drinks now and then? If he can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house to be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down the wastepipe. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. We asked ourselves why we were angry. Positions were always in jeopardy or gone. 6. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. Click here for sample pages in .pdf format . But the head of the house has spent years in pulling down the structures of business, romance, friendship, health-these things are now ruined or damaged. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Get in Touch. We still like it. This PDF file is an Easy-Read Large Print Ebook created in 2009 by major1212 -at-pobox.com. That he has not always done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? Can his past absurdities be forgotten? I was staring at an inch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32. (P) 8-a. You may need to encourage him to play once in a while. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. Was I crazy? No-not now. Whether you're new to AA, or you're a seasoned veteran, this is the easiest and most useful app to aid in your recovery. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. He has by no means ruined everything. A year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more. He never drank again. That often makes the difference between failure and success. It's a way of life. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. To get over drinking will require a transformation of thought and attitude. Do not contradict such views. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. Presently the man did slip and was fired. Permit that and you only harm him. Freds story speaks for itself. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. I went to town regularly and even made a little money. We represent no particular faith or denomination. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. We cannot answer the riddle. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. BB pg 100-101. by medic63 Wed Feb 03, 2016 9:23 am. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. In one western city and its environs there are one thousand of us and our families. This brings to mind a story about one of our friends. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. There were 134 "Musts" in the first and second editions of Alcoholics Anonymous. But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree. Try it more than once. We took stock honestly. Wasnt it because self-reliance failed us? The age of miracles is still with us. It may be just the jolt he needs. Perhaps he spends too much money for liquor. Oh no, said my friend, this chap is either through with liquor, or he is minus a job. Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. In this way you can set them on the right track without becoming critical of them. If common words were not discarded, the The web site uses a less-restrictive set of common words than the printed book. We often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic. Perhaps there are some cases where the utmost frankness is demanded. Many of the old problems will still be with you. Your junior executive may not agree with the contents of our book. It is a design for living that works in rough going. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). This man has a charming wife and family. She went to court and got an order for his arrest. Here is the fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. There are many. We placed them before us in black and white. When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions. Im sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes. That may be true of certain nonalcoholic people who, though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time, are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies have not been damaged as ours were. We seldom had friends at our homes, never knowing how or when the men of the house would appear. At first engage in general conversation. It hadnt even come to mind. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family. A new world came into view. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. If you have been successful in solving your own domestic problems, tell the newcomers family how that was accomplished. When we were finished we considered it carefully. God didnt do it. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. Let them remember that his drinking wrought all kinds of damage that may take long to repair. While the program is considered a suggested method for dealing with the disease of Alcoholism, there are places within the Big Book where the authors used the word 'MUST.'. Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around. But my friend sat before me, and he made the point- blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. He tries every known means to get the jay-walking idea out of his head. If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to be very happy. I had been obliged to discharge him for drinking, though he was brilliant, alert, and one of the best organizers I have ever known. If we can forget, so can she. We dont struggle. Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter. Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing.. We told him what we knew about alcoholism. But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted. There is another paralyzing fear. Best of all, I met a kind doctor who explained that though certainly selfish and foolish, I had been seriously ill, bodily and mentally. We covered the whole eastern United States in a year. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. They can take it or leave it alone. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps. Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or religious bores? What usually happens? In some cases it may be better to let someone outside the family present the book. For example, As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. I failed to persuade my broker friends to send me out looking over factories and managements, but my wife and I decided to go anyway. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. The great boom of the late twenties was seething and swelling. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day Thy will be done. We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We are greatly indebted to the doctor in attendance there, for he, although it might prejudice his own work, has told us of his belief in ours. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. We have been terror stricken. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, Who, then, made all this? There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. This painful past may be of infinite value to other families still struggling with their problem. Easy to read retyped version. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time! We know what you are thinking. 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